Hi And Welcome to my regular blog. I will try and keep it humorous which may mean mildly colourful language at times. I hope you enjoy it and won't be offended. In order to protect the guilty; no Customers will be mentioned by name unless it's complementary and even then I may opt for anonymity. This is only because I wanted to impress you by putting in the word "anonymity." If I can think of any other slightly more pointless and annoying rules, I will let you know in due course.
Hi There. haven't done any Christmas gigs yet. Had this weekend off. Just getting ready though. Found some great versions of "White Christmas". I know that Bing is the King for a lot of you but to be honest I prefer the Al Jarreau or the Michael Buble' Version. I once heard a great jazz ballad version of it on radio 1 by of all people David grant I think and the piano was amazing to anyone who knows anything about music. Can I find it now? Can I hell! I've been looking for it all my life. I've strayed into ballads now and I've just heard an amazing version of Paul Mc Cartney's: "Maybe I'm amazed" by Carleene Anderson. Check it out. Nice. Luther Vandross does a very nice version of "Have yourself a merry little Christmas" too but hey, I'm giving all my secrets away here!
Well not much to talk about when weeks are quiet so I'll leave you with an after dinner joke based on the "quiet factor"
Quiet Speech
An Englishman ,a Scotsman, and an
Irishman are all to give speeches to the Deaf Society. All are keen to
make an impression on their audience.
The Englishman goes first and to the surprise of his colleagues
starts by rubbing first his chest and then his groin. When he finishes
the Scotsman and Irishman ask him what he was doing.
"Well" he explained" By rubbing my chest I indicated breasts and
thus Ladies and by rubbing my groin I indicated balls and thus
Gentlemen. So my speech started: Ladies and Gentlemen".
On his way up to the podium the Scotsman thought to himself I'll go
one better than that English bastard and started his speech by making
an antler symbol with his fingers above his head before also rubbing
his chest and his groin.
When he finished his colleagues asked what he was doing. "Well" he
explained" By imitating antlers and then rubbing my chest and groin I
was starting my speech by saying: Deer Ladies and Gentlemen".
On his way up to the podium the Irishman thought to himself I'll go
one further than those mainland bastards and started his speech by
making an antler symbol above his head, rubbing his chest, and then his
groin, and then masturbating furiously.
When he finished his colleagues asked him what he was doing. "Well"
he explained," by imitating antlers, rubbing my chest and then my groin
and then masturbating I was starting my speech by saying: Deer Ladies
and Gentlemen, it gives me great pleasure......."
Hi all. Had an unexpected last minute booking this week for a sixteenth party in Oving West Sussex. The father of the birthday boy Tom was talking to us as we set up and had obviously had a full life, having lived in Italy selling shoes and earning himself a Porsche 911 for his efforts to playing bass in the Gary Numan Band! What a life eh? I was asked to play current chart stuff with some drum and bass. I downloaded all the 2009 drum and bass anthems for 2009 just to make sure and as happens sometimes, this type of music never really took off on the dance floor. So often you get to a gig totally prepared to specialise in one type of music for at least some of the night and when you get there it never really materialises.
Never mind. they seemed to have a great time anyway. I've asked them to write a review but for some reason my emails are just not getting through yet. I've got the right address I know, as I asked the man to write it down for me at the gig. it was the same one he gave me over the phone beforehand. It's a real life mystery man!
Is this weather depressing or what? For the last four Sundays now Becky and I have been out driving and every time it's been windy as hell and chucking it down with rain. Pretty soon I think I'll be sailing to you all...I'm definitely getting a water for gas gadget for the van this year. I'm sure we're all becoming victims of the mad oil barrons and the resulting co2 emmisions. Maybe it's a one-off but floods are flooding with apocalyptic regularity. Don't tell me you aren't thinking the same thing as you look out the window and watch the "end of the world" weather. I know we had a winter like this in the 90's where it rained and rained nigh on for 6 months solid. I hope it's just only that bad.
Onto cheerier things. I'm doing the wedding for a sweet young couple next May and they just sent me the itinerary the other day. I'll be honest with you. It's more than just a wedding. They have an extremely fun packed afternoon something along the lines of a game show for the guests and it's taking a lot of preparing as "you know who" is hosting it. Such a lovely couple though. As I opened the envelope, a load of gold stars fell out! I like that. You know what a big softy I am!
Enough said. Have a great week. Hope it get's a bit drier!
