Cloud And Sun DJ Services Weekly Blog

Hi And Welcome to my regular blog. I will try and keep it humorous which may mean mildly colourful language at times. I hope you enjoy it and won't be offended. In order to protect the guilty; no Customers will be mentioned by name unless it's complementary and even then I may opt for anonymity. This is only because I wanted to impress you by putting in the word "anonymity."  If I can think of any other slightly more pointless and annoying rules, I will let you know in due course.

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  1. Hello all. Well Christmas is approaching fast and I still have dates available for anyone out there who is looking for a great party DJ. If you see him passing let me know, as I'm looking for him too...

    Becky and I won't see much of each other for the rest of the week as she works in the day and I am booked up every night. I guess that'll make Christmas day all the more special for us. I'm actually looking forward to it this year. Anyone who's single at the moment; you have my sympathy. I've always managed to amuse myself on the afore mentioned day as for years I too have been on my todd. One year I spent the day searching for all the greatest (most moving) choir renditions of those Christmas carols on Napster whilst quaffing chocolate liqueurs and Brandy to enhance the mood! It may sound sad but what a brilliant day that was. I'll never forget it!

    I did another wedding on Saturday night up near Horsham at the South Lodge Hotel. For the first time ever, I asked for a pint of John Smiths and was turned down flat as they have a "No alcohol for the band" rule there. I wonder what happened last time they did? It's a shame in life when one bad-arse becomes the guiding factor for all followers after. One entertainer is a pisshead. Now all entertainers are pissheads.  Never mind. I managed to get one of the guests to take my good money to the bar and purchase the aforesaid mentioned  brew. I only have one a night, but watching everyone else happily downing beers was just too much to beer, sorry - Bear.

    Friday was at the Raddison Blu in Brighton. I got there much too early as per the agent's booking form but it's a good job really, as there is only one parking space and you need to bag it or it's a good old £70.00 parking fine, or £140.00 if you drag your arse over paying, which is why I just love the fact that I no longer live in "wonderful reasonably priced" Brighton. Trouble is though, they are introducing it in the Arun area so it appears that evil follows you wherever you go in Britain these days.
    I didn't have anything to do before the main Christmas party as the hotel had it's own background music system playing throughout dinner. Luckily though, the hotel had WIFI so I was able to watch BBC Iplayer programmes on my laptop until my time arrived. Don't you just love technology? I moved onto digital when it took four hours one night to find the theme from Baywatch on the back of a Randy Crawford compilation CD. I'd put it there because space is everything for anyone who's still carrying CD's around. All I need now are two 320GB hard drives. A revolution in compression. 

    Well I'm at The Ship Hotel Chichester for the next Three nights so if you fancy saying hello.....

    See you all soon,

  2. Hi There. haven't done any Christmas gigs yet. Had this weekend off. Just getting ready though. Found some great versions of "White Christmas". I know that Bing is the King for a lot of you but to be honest I prefer the Al Jarreau or the Michael Buble' Version. I once heard a great jazz ballad version of it on radio 1 by of all people David grant I think and the piano was amazing to anyone who knows anything about music. Can I find it now? Can I hell! I've been looking for it all my life. I've strayed into ballads now and I've just heard an amazing version of Paul Mc Cartney's: "Maybe I'm amazed" by Carleene Anderson. Check it out. Nice. Luther Vandross does a very nice version of "Have yourself a merry little Christmas" too but hey, I'm giving all my secrets away here!

    Well not much to talk about when weeks are quiet so I'll leave you with an after dinner joke based on the "quiet factor"

    Quiet Speech

    An Englishman ,a Scotsman, and an Irishman are all to give speeches to the Deaf Society. All are keen to make an impression on their audience.

    The Englishman goes first and to the surprise of his colleagues starts by rubbing first his chest and then his groin. When he finishes the Scotsman and Irishman ask him what he was doing.

    "Well" he explained" By rubbing my chest I indicated breasts and thus Ladies and by rubbing my groin I indicated balls and thus Gentlemen. So my speech started: Ladies and Gentlemen".

    On his way up to the podium the Scotsman thought to himself I'll go one better than that English bastard and started his speech by making an antler symbol with his fingers above his head before also rubbing his chest and his groin.

    When he finished his colleagues asked what he was doing. "Well" he explained" By imitating antlers and then rubbing my chest and groin I was starting my speech by saying: Deer Ladies and Gentlemen".

    On his way up to the podium the Irishman thought to himself I'll go one further than those mainland bastards and started his speech by making an antler symbol above his head, rubbing his chest, and then his groin, and then masturbating furiously.

    When he finished his colleagues asked him what he was doing. "Well" he explained," by imitating antlers, rubbing my chest and then my groin and then masturbating I was starting my speech by saying: Deer Ladies and Gentlemen, it gives me great pleasure......."

  3. Hi all. Had an unexpected last minute booking this week for a sixteenth party in Oving West Sussex. The father of the birthday boy Tom was talking to us as we set up and had obviously had a full life, having lived in Italy selling shoes and earning himself a Porsche 911 for his efforts to playing bass in the Gary Numan Band! What a life eh?  I was asked to play current chart stuff with some drum and bass. I downloaded all the 2009 drum and bass anthems for 2009 just to make sure and as happens sometimes, this type of music never really took off on the dance floor. So often you get to a gig totally prepared to specialise in one type of music for at least some of the night and when you get there it never really materialises.
    Never mind. they seemed to have a great time anyway. I've asked them to write a review but for some reason my emails are just not getting through yet. I've got the right address I know, as I asked the man to write it down for me at the gig. it was the same one he gave me over the phone beforehand.  It's a real life mystery man!

    Is this weather depressing or what? For the last four Sundays now Becky and I have been out driving and every time it's been windy as hell and chucking it down with rain. Pretty soon I think I'll be sailing to you all...I'm definitely getting a water for gas 
    gadget for the van this year. I'm sure we're all becoming victims of the mad oil barrons and the resulting co2 emmisions. Maybe it's a one-off but floods are flooding with apocalyptic regularity. Don't tell me you aren't thinking the same thing as you look out the window and watch the "end of the world" weather. I know we had a winter like this in the 90's where it rained and rained nigh on for 6 months solid. I hope it's just only that bad. 

    Onto cheerier things. I'm doing the wedding for a sweet young couple next May and they just sent me the itinerary the other day. 
    I'll be honest with you. It's more than just a wedding. They have an extremely fun packed afternoon something along the lines of a game show for the guests and it's taking a lot of preparing as "you know who" is hosting it. Such a lovely couple though. As I opened the envelope, a load of gold stars fell out! I like that. You know what a big softy I am!

    Enough said. Have a great week. Hope it get's a bit drier!