Hey there! That sounded very American didn't it? Well I felt like exclaiming as it's been a while since I've blogged here. Well I've been working on myorganic health foods site as well as other things.

We've been to Germany to see Becky's mum and she's still there in hospital. (Becky, not her mum) Nothing stopping me from saying that now, as she's had the operation and all went well.Thank god, it was a worrying time! One funny thing to come out of it was that I had to take the hire car back to Hamburg from Bremen without Becky and all was going well until I hit a traffic jam. I waited and waited not worried about the time as I was way too early in order to get the paperwork sorted with the car before closing time in Hamburg at 18:00 when the actual flight didn't leave until about 21:00. Well as the jam cleared I looked at the sat-nav and noticed to my horror that it had crashed and only had about four vertical lines of grey on the screen! Oh crap. No map. No idea of location. Try as I might I couldn't turn the damn thing off to re-boot! So I'm in a queu of traffic and I decide to head for Bremen and see if I can pull over somewhere. This I did and through sheer rebeliousness, I'd smuggled my tiny (can't do without it) swiss army knife in the hand luggage (which is all I had). I pulled out the tooth pick and whittled it down to a point, so I could access the hole in which the reset button resided. And thank god it worked! About 6 frantic minutes were passed while I waited for it to come back online and then it was as good as new for me to proceed along the worst autobahn in Germany today, with more roadworks, treacherous narrow overtaking lanes and contraflows than any M6 nightmare. I guess that was my S.A.S. moment this lifetime...

Anyway, I just want to announce that I finally got my shit together and got an availability checker for all you lovely customers out there to see if I can do your gig straight from the home page, contact page and booking page . If I can't do it on your chosen date, Drop me an email anyway and I'll recommend some good reliable Deejays that I know who won't let you down like some out there. It's a free service designed to help you steer clear of the cowboys in this business (I don't get commission) of which there are a few.

I've said this before and I'll say it again, if the DJ is more important to you then try to find one BEFORE securing the venue, as you stand much more chance of having a great party with the right DJ than you do with any particular venue. Not only that, I have a page that gives you a little info about some of the more popular venues and their possible pitfalls like noise limiters etc.

Well that's quite enough work for one day. Time for tea and telly.

Have a great weekend and see you soon,

Mike

Hi all. Dj'd for a children's party this week. I like children's parties. It's definitely not about the money! Is it ever about the money? Well we all have to pay the rent, but lately I have looked into the world of online business (no, I'm not giving this job up) and my idea that if you're not passionate about it, it will be hard to do indeed, seems to be prevalent there for sure. Anyway, children make great punters. They don't have to have a drink before they summon up the courage to get on the floor. They just go for it from the start with their wonderful shrill voices and the parents looking slightly stressed. I'm glad we didn't have any smoke detectors in the venue, as they were asking me about once every two minutes for more smoke! I was happy to oblige of course, but I have to say that before long, I couldn't really see anyone from about 1 foot past the front of the console. Hello to Josh, Faye and possy if you're reading this. And thank you to the church hall/coffee morning lady who offered me a bacon sandwich out of the blue (Very nice it was too I should say. Havent had bread like that since I lived near an ASDA!)

Why does stuff always go wrong with your mobile disco van just before the weekend? My vans are well looked after and maintained but in this business not many (actually nobody I've ever met except someone who came into an inheritance) can afford to buy a brand new one, so you're always going to be catching up with the result of the previous owners thrashing of their company vehicle. I was no exception on Friday evening. On the way home that night, I got within a mile of home and guess what? I heard this clanking noise on coming from underneath and assumed that the spare wheel frame had dropped. That reminds me, what happened to my spare wheel? I'm sure I had it when I bought this van! I must get another one. Do they sell them at scrap yards? Anyway, no it wasn't the now empty spare wheel frame dropping through lack of content. No of course it was the exhaust pipe falling in half some 2 weeks after passing its MOT....?? I had nowhere to pull over far enough to do anything, so I continued home with the hazards on and the pipe clanking along the road. As I pulled into home, a friendly faced neighbour looked sympathetically at me jangling and clanking up to the garage. It was then I recalled that I'd left my tools in the car, but as it happens, all I needed was a jack and something to tie the loose pipe up to the chassis. Of course I am covered for breakdowns, but I seem to have this fierce independent streak that a lot of us men have, that only if the van is broken in two halves would I sit and wait for an hour whilst the rescue service locate and attend. So I got to the children's party next day with my exhaust tied up like an amateur bondage victim having taken it to the tyre and exhaust place for them to ascertain which bits they needed to order that morning. After the lunch time party I sweated as I loaded the van up to make it in time for the actual fitting in Littlehampton before they closed. I have to tell you it was an experience driving there for the second time that day. As I headed down the A"%( or A259 if you remember to take your left finger off the shift button, the engine gradually got louder and louder and louder and louder thus precipitating the fear that I wouldn't actually make it there before the whole thing fell off at the manifold/engine/other end. I was about 1/4 of a mile away when I hit the wonderful Littlehampton police station gas pipe replacement  project with it's unbfeasably long traffic light delay, but I was prepared for this so I simply switched off the engine for the five and a half long minutes before the green light came back on. Finally pulling into the exhaustmiester's yard, the sense of relief was that of someone being pushed along a hospital corridor on a stretcher into the operating theatre thinking: "I've done all I can for myself to get here. Now I'm leaving it in your capable hands." Excuse me whilst I retire to the waiting room to enjoy my sense of relief with a cup of that tea from the vending machine and an obscure magazine about classic cars that will no doubt be waiting for me on the table in the middle of all garage waiting rooms, whilst trying not to get too interested in the diagrams of exhausts and tyre types on the wall. So anyway the upshot is that a few minutes into the repair the dude came into the waiting room and apologised but the suppliers had only sent one of the bits that he ordered earlier that day, thus denying me instantly the full satisfaction and post traumatic relief of a fully repaired van. Oh well, back for the rest this week. Yes they did a temporary repair on the other part for which they had no part so as long as I don't drive to Liverpool, I should be OK.

Well I've just paid our rent today, so after that I think I need a lie down...Have a great week and see you soon.

Mike.

Hi there just a quick one this week. I'd just like to say to DR. S. at the St Richards hospital. You are a real arsehole. I played extra time for you and I broke the golden rule. I didn't ask you for money up front. I wonder what would have happened if I didn't ask for the main fee upfront? Would you have shafted me over that as well? Probably but we'll never know. Sometimes I'm too trusting but I'm not a total bloody moron! Interesting subject is money and payment. Right now a mate of mine is trying to get money out of a certain hotel in Brighton for a number of Christmas functions, one of which I did for him myself. This hotel chain is owned by a multi millionare from what I am told and has a pretentious variation on the word "blue" in it's title/brand name. The payment has been politely asked for, invoiced, politely asked for and subsiquently ignored and ignored and ignored. It's now at the court stage and they are theatening an order to shut down the business or some such "seemingly out of proportion, but necessary to solve the problem" thing.

Just think how much better this world would be if everyone, business and private actually paid their bills on time! Yes it's mad, it's crazy and it seems like a new and radical idea doesn't it? No not really. Bills are my first priority. If you make extra money. Pay the bills first. Peace of mind is priceless. Carribean holidays are nice if there's enough left over. If not, you have more time than you think. Make the extra money. Don't borrow unless it's an emergency. Debt and late payment are the scurge of the modern age, along with drugs and fake mental disorders - To sell more drugs of course. Anyway, I digress. Tight bastards are not exclusively rich. There are poor tight bastards and rich tight bastards. It's not a good measuring stick. At least poor tight bastards have some justification for holding onto their precious lolly (there's a word from the past). Rich tight bastards or even slightly rich tight bastard doctors have no justification. If you deliver a great product (which everyone else agreed that I did) then you should have fair exchange for it and if that doesn't sound fair it's a good sign of insanity. So there you are Doctor S. You're not just a tight slightly rich bastard but you're a fruit cake too with a genuine mental disorder. I'd just like to finish this bit by saying thank you to the other doctor who promised to sort out payment the next day and then never called. You guys are an inspiration to us all.

In complete contrast I would like to say a big thankyou to Wendy and family with the After eight club for a great comedy relief night on the Friday 18th March where we raised around £500.00 and the crowd were absolutley brilliant. I love it when the crowd get's into the dancing en-mass. It's my main statistic of course and try as one might it doesn't always happen. So once again thankyou all and you can check the review out here

See you all next time and have a great week. Don't forget the clocks go forward this weekend so I feel your pain when it comes to getting up an hour earlier! Take care,

Mike.